Sorry everyone.

July 14 2009. The day I killed on of the noblest creatures. Today would be a day that I remember for a long long time. Almost 21 years living myself on earth, I wouldn’t even dare to kill a bug. I admit that did kill a bug, but that was not on purpose. I could sit for some time thinking that I killed a teeny-weeny organism

Around 3.15pm, I was awakened by the sound of my mom shrieking. She was screaming, calling my name asking me to kill him. I was surprised when she asks me to do it. I wonder what she has against him. Until now, I’m still in vague! I frantically got up and grabbed a knife. He was in front of me, and my brother was holding him hardly so that he couldn’t put an attempt to run. I took some time before I eventually put the knife on him and cut him in the neck. There was no sound, just a small squeal which followed by him collapse and die.

I was so frightened of what has happened, and I ran away. I prayed that God will forgive me. I swear I prayed in that very moment, and it goes like “God, I really don’t want to do this. But what can I do, should I obey to my mom and ignore you? Or disobey her and follow the Law of Mother Nature”.

For a while, I was shivering thinking what I’ve done, and what will happen soon. Suddenly I saw Grandpa, I shivered and I almost scream out to him as he actually cam there just minutes after the incident happens, and I knew he could stop everything!

I hugged my legs like a kid always does, I was afraid. Should I check myself in to the police station? Should I let myself be cuffed by them? What will they ask me? What will they do to me? Will I be prosecuted? I guess the nightmare of being bullied by those people in the prison will come to life, finally. Mom says “Calm down son, just give it a rest already”. But I just can’t!

I remember the program I watched on TV where people who murdered another being, will be hanged to death. In that case, I will prepare myself to leave my family, friends, but what I will most is my computer and two cell phones. I am so stressed out right now remembering the blood that came out from his neck.

Now, I am waiting for the real deal to come. To wait for my dad to come home and sit altogether with my family and surrounding the table, waiting for him to discuss the next step I should do. My brother left the house like nothing had happened, mom is cooking and Grandpa went home. I lie down on the sofa watching TV, at least that can ease myself down. I don’t want to think about where they put the body. However, I can’t get everything out of my mind now, I really can’t! How should I do that to a being lives in the same world as me. We walk with them, I saw them every single day and they live just in my backyard.

For years, I did not know that I would have the guts to actually do something like this; it goes against the Law of Mother Nature. And like before, I just couldn’t get the picture off of my mind.

Then again, when I gave it a second thought, everyone doesn’t give a sh*t if they do the same thing. I think I should do too. Starting from now on, I will try to live a brand new life. I will face everything that I am supposed to, for what I’ve done. I will face everything that I should. I hope this is not my last time to post something here. I will try my best to keep on letting everyone tracks on my activity in my prison life.

P/S: I want to apologize to his family

Sincerely,

Indra

(The guy who killed the chicken)

JPJ and a weirdo

1st July, 2009. For the first time ever, I got summoned! hahaha! And the coolest thing was, I haven't even got my driving license yet!!! HAHAHA! But that was it, RM100 for not displaying the friggin' parking ticket in front of the car? Those people are ridiculous. I parked the car in front of the BSN Bank at OldTown just now, and while waiting for Ana to buy the heck I know, I went to the ATM Machine because I was planning to go RedBox with Lingga and the others today(I apparently didn't).
Khairi leaves for Australia today and it's 5 days to go before I go back to Sabah. I can't wait to see the view of Sabah up from the plane, Aunty Ati was about to buy me a ticket on Wednesday but I told her that dad already bought me one.

Geez, I got a story to tell. Ok first thing first, I told you guys that there's a mamak stall at the back of my house, right?. So, today after sending Ana off to school I was so hungry. So, I decided to go buy something to fill my empty stomach. Upon reaching the place, I straight away asked for a "Nasi Bungkus". After filling the rice with some lauk, I turned around and saw this Indian guy was looking at me in a really 'odd' way.
Seeing me turning around looking at him, he straight away asked me whether I need anything else and I said 'Yea', I said "Roti Kosong satu!". Then talking in a combination of God knows what, he approached his colleague and told him to make one for me(I guess). So, I advanced the distance between me and them at the counter to see how the guy makes my roti canai. I was facing the one that's making the roti canai and the 'weird' guy was facing me.
I don't mind being looked at, but please! His hand starts touching me. I was pretty surprised that he dares to touch me in front of all the customers! He at first put his hand on my abs, then started traveling to my belly. I took his hand off of me, but then when I did. He held my fingers in a 'DIFFERENT' way like he doesn't want to let go. It's like he's really keen on touching me! I just smiled but I was REALLY REALLY uncomfortable. I tried avoiding myself to be anywhere near him afterwards but there's nowhere else to go. So I went to the counter to pay my food then I stayed near the fridge so that I could put a little distance between us.
The cashier gave me the food and asked me to go to the Roti Canai counter to get my roti canai but I was pretty subdued because he's standing there beside the counter. The guy came back to me and took the plastic bag from me but I swear he gave me some kind of 'touch' to my hand before he took it. I thought I was paranoid but when my food is ready to be brought home, I tried taking the plastic bag myself on the counter.
But before I have the time to lay my hand on the plastic bag, he quickly grabbed it and wouldn't want to give it to me before I shake his hand. He shook my hand like he's pretty liberate to let go. Took like almost a minute to let the grasp go away and I tried letting go of it and eventually he did. I grabbed the plastic bag from him and walked out the door.
He was a weird man, even the first time they opened the restaurant, and the first time I saw the look in his eyes on me. I knew that something is 'wrong' but yea, people have different types of tang in their life. Not mentioning he gave me the 'main mata' thingy the other day. I was frightened by that. I seriously wouldn't want to give it much thought though. But, I just can't.
What I can say is, I am sorry if I am being so paranoid, unreasonable and so suspicious but if you're standing in my shoes now, you'll know that those moves he does, are questionable. Despite everything that happened, I'm sorry for those who are offended by the post.