Love of a Father [Cinta Ayah]

Last night I was sitting in front of my computer, and an image of a person came up to mind. I realized he is special, he is really, special. I am standing here now, because of him. I remember how he never fails to make people smile with his funny jokes. He said to me one time, "I would do anything for my children even if that means to die". I laughed, as I was naive and wasn't aware of the meaning behind it, and it was blurted out from a guy's mouth. Thought it was a joke.
One day, I was pissed because he made a mistake. I yelled at him, yes he deserved it!. He didn't eat for dinner, he stays in the living room doing his work. I can see the water he's trying to hide but who cares?
What did he do, you might wonder. He said he couldn't afford to buy me a phone!
Then the next day, he brought home a second hand phone. I hesitated, but I was proud as he only uses an old obnoxious phone or the one his boss lent him.
Back then, we were still stabilizing the condition. He's just a coolie for some people in the government, but the only thing I saw was money coming in.
Now he has health complications all over, but he is still working.
Working hard to earn some cents to keep his family stand on ground.

Going back to his hometown was like going for a math camp, we scrupled.
He asked us one day, "Hey, we'll go back to kampung this weekend. A lot of people are coming back". Again, we wavered.
He said "Okay, have fun with your friends, be careful", nicely though it sounds broken.
I get to see how sincere he is looking over me and my whole family.

This is a real story of mine, sometimes we don't remember how hard our father have struggled looking out for us until he's no longer with us. All my life, we've lived in hardness, and he taught us how to live in humbleness. I remember the time he always wakes up early in the morning and asks us to take wudhu', pray together and ask for forgiveness from Him.
I hope what he's taught me will never fade out till the end of time, till it's time for me to pass it on to my children.


P/S:

Tuhanku,
Sesungguhnya engkau benar telah kurniakan kami seorang insan yang bisa membimbing kami ke jalan yang benar. Jika engkau harus mengambil rohnya, ambillah secara aman. Tetapi berilah kesempatan kami untuk memeluk, mencium dan berdialog bersamanya untuk kali yang terakhir sebelum engkau menarik nafasnya.
Tuhanku,
Engkau maha pengampun, engkau maha penyayang.
Ampunilah dosa-dosa ibu bapaku, bersihkan jiwa mereka seperti baldu putih yang suci.
Bariskan mereka bersama mereka yang engkau sayangi.
Sesungguhnya tiada yang lain bisaku pinta selainmu.

Amin ya Rabbil Alamin....