It’s not easy to face life as it is with your own self. It’s rather impossible to do it, lacking everything. A long-lasting happiness which probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard in life, have noted that loyalty could be the key. Whereas, happiness which also one of the most preposterous stuffs that could happen to any couple, stated that ‘do everything what you want to do’ is what you need to do in your life. These are the things that make your life complete. Then, I laughed.
My friend, my friend. A collection of beautiful qualities in your life is not the only thing that will make your life remain at peace. I was told by my father every time I was about to fly to Kuala Lumpur that, once you’ve started plucking, you should never pick up the remaining. Well yes, I admit that is the only thing he always had to say to all his sons and we’re kind of tired listening to it [Sorry pa! Hahaha]. But, when I give it a second thought; it bases not only on the study of all of us siblings, but our life as well. He’s such a smart talker, I would say. You could do everything without looking back every things you left behind, and it’s just a matter of being able to work it out and putting back the little piece to where it belongs; fixing back the repulsiveness.
After tutorial and had some [I mean HUGE] plates of meal at Ali Maju, me and Yogi went back to his home just for a while at Medang Serai, Bangsar. Luckily it wasn’t jammed. After lingering around his room for a while, I decided to leave but was stuck at Alicia’s room. I knew that she was about to leave for Australia, but every time we meet, there’s just so much things we could talk about that I could sometime lost track of time as well as the “moving to Australia” part. Eventually, she spitted it out and we spent several hours talking about life, love and the future. She’s such an intelligent and sweet girl. I still wonder why anyone could never see that in her. I told her that I’ve a plan to move out as well. This could be my last semester in HELP, or maybe Malaysia. But who knows; maybe I’ll be coming back.
I was monitoring the conversation. And I realized that there is a similarity between me and her. I couldn’t help but noticing that her enthusiast towards writing is something that she could not put away. She talks about all sorts of things in her writings, same as me. And then, I cracked up something else during the conversation; it’s the way we see life. When you do something that you really love, I mean REALLY REALLY LOVE, you’ll see things in life differently.
It’s like you are sitting with a notepad and a pen on top of a hill. Down there you’ll see how the grandparents are watching their grandchildren playing; mothers are cooking and might be weeping tears to the onions. Fathers tell jokes, or doing fences, and the kids say “Pa, I need some money to buy books” while in the back of their mind, their loved one is waiting to be bought an ice-cream. How sweet you would say? Yes, but dear friends, all good things come to an end. One day, you will see the most revolting and upsetting views you could ever imagine. Yes, all things seem similar, but through an enthusiast’s eyes, you see the disguise and obscurity that has and about to happen. My dear friends, all good things come to an end. But be worry not, that’s when the praying part takes turn. God will always be there, smiling to your pray.
Let's talk about relationship, let's talk about disappointment, let's talk about...LOVE Love is not like a wind that cools us off and leave, neither like a rain that helps us cover our tears temporarily. It comes like a nighttime, it comes and it cools you down. Listens to you all night long, without hesitating. Caressing you when you close your eyes.
Love is something you can't define blindly, though it sometimes is said to be blind. You would never know how bad it is to be in love, and knowing that at the end of the day, you won't be getting the same thing as you've given out. But it is worse when you give out your heart, and getting the same back; but didn't last like you've wished it to be. Frustrating of course, so frustrating.
The distance.
Yes, the distance. Still vague here. But I've felt the same way before, I've left my loved one miles and miles away to go to where I am now. And yes, we've broken up after a year and a half. That was unfortunate, and people blame the distance; I go up on the fence. I control myself just to let me think of everything that has happened. Is it because of me? Or maybe my loved one. Took me time to just ponder all about it. I never blamed my other half, but still blaming myself for not being able to look after my emotions. I could say, I was kind of like a prisoner and I am kind of tied up. I lost to the rock'n'roll of my relationship, but I was happy. Eventually, I surrendered to my feelings. There's no escape from your feelings, and it never will help you to escape from anything.Said the person who hopes: My friend, I am not a preacher. I have no reason to order you around, let alone to fall for me. You have no reason to fall for me, because anything that you see is everything that you might get. What you have wished for me to be, may be impossible for me to be. These things might sound a little bit over-exaggerated, but yes, that's what I am. But that is fine, don't worry. I won't ruin our sweet rapture. Seeing you sad, hurts me inside. I might never be able to say I Love You because I care for you. Just let me play on my role as a stranger. Making you avoiding me is the last thing I want to do now, and that the first thing would be seeing you. Sometimes you push me than I dare, but as cool as it gets, I'll bomb my guts. But despite all of things; I can only be with you as a friend/as a brother/as a listener. I dare not say this, but please don't ever and ever doubt my strong feelings for you. :') Said the person who's disappointed: My friend, I can't hope no more. Seeing you with him/her hurts me inside. Me being a slave to your heart, is hard than what I've expected. I stood up for you, I might have to follow the wrong way but you're still the one that led me. I had a nice time walking with you, and surely one of the few most wonderful times I had in my life. I carved you in my heart, and I gave you everything but to know that I was just something to be wasted. Just go on with what you like, let the one who loves you sit and do nothing but watching the memories fading. I used to feeling hazed with the word LOVE, but his story is history. It's cool, no sweat. I accept now the fact that, I am disappointed.
Said the idiot: My friend, I just... Nothing. I am fine, don't mind me. I am good.
