10 Days Off.

I woke up as early as the chickens start squealing. I was awakened, but nothing like yesterdays; nothing is beside me. Empty. And suddenly I realized how I missed my baby badly.

Before, you’ll ask me to go back drenching to dream. But now, when I open up my eyes, I am just a guy who tells silent tales to the walls. I craved for somebody to help me as I am just at the peak of starting to cry a river, the threshold of pressing numbers in the phone to call you. The greatest feeling of longing, which nothing similar but the one when you left me crying like a little child at the airport last year.

The inner self in me works at its best pouring love onto you, but my mind struggles to keep that feeling away, as I know how much you need break, and I understand how much you need a breath. You’ve been telling me how much you miss me every time I’m away. But I told you how strong I was when it comes to me. But easier said than done, the moment you say the word “bye”, I surrendered. My ego was jailed could not be undone. I missed you badly.

You were very happy the last time I saw you, and I thought I was stronger. Now I am restless, I am on my knee, telling my eyes to look at the screen of the phones, asking me to hold the phones all the time.

This guy misses you, he misses you badly. I love you.

I'm Sorry, I've Drowned Into You...

...how i secretly melt when i wrap myself around you, when i comfortably rest my head on your chest and feel your arms around me, the way you embrace me… how you run your fingers through my hair, putting it behind my ears, whispering words “i love you”… how i would rise myself a little to reach your lips, i close my eyes, to feel the warmth of your breath, gently you kiss me, the kiss that takes away all insecurities, making me forget everything around me as if nothing else matter…pardon me, my love, for this paranoia. one more thing is my insecurity which triggers jealousy. i know you’re a real great catch and i’m afraid that the people you are more often exposed to would notice that and since these are the people who share the same toxicity and stress as you do in school, you would have more common things to share and that might lead to some sort of relationship development on your part and a destruction on mine. okay, did i just go way too much in over thinking. oh well, but you tell me i’ll be safe with you and i believe everything you say. and so i will try to throw away all my doubts and fears in the hopes that never again will i feel the dark and bitter strands of the past. i lift my head up in delight because i trust this love we have and hold.

I’m sorry if I love you too much, and I am doing it in a way that you don't like. But I don’t know how to love you any other way..

Credits go to Nadia

Sexual Intercourse: The Reality Awakening.

WARNING!

This is just an opinion from somebody who is in a modern relationship that includes an insight of a personal matter. A REAL PERSONAL MATTER.

It's 8.00am.

I was shooting my eyeballs outside the window, playing with my brother's computer. I sighed. What was I thinking? I couldn't start my day without thinking of what has been happening. Lately, I was just too disturbed. Just disturbed thinking about some stuff that shouldn't be given a chance to think about.

It's 8.20am, and above are the only words I managed to put up.

Question of the day: Is sexual intercourse important in a committed relationship?

No matter what type of relationships you are in now, I am sure we have our own opinions to flag up about the said question. Intelligently, or "crappically"; it's your right, and you are entitled to that. People have different interpretations to that.

If people aren't looking for something in their relationship, they may merely say that sexual intercourse is just a phase, something both can enjoy and it won't affect your relationship. I say it depends to people's principle. When it comes to a relationship, it MIGHT be one of the most important things that helps the relationship grow stronger. You may get confused with the question again, so specifically; is it important for you IN LIFE, or is it important in your relationship? Totally different thing. There are too many ifs, my friend.

Research by research had been done to look for the answer of how important sexual intercourse is in either way, which they eventually give all the different ideas you need when doing meta-analysis on the idea. When I tried doing the meta-analysis myself on sexual intercourse, I have met plenty of research that only raised one question to another, and of course as I try looking deeper for answers, there are just plenty more questions arose.

I am still trying. I am still trying to tell the truth that I love my partner so much and I don't want anyone else to mess with our relationship, by hook or by crook. And I believe that active sexual intercourse with somebody who's outside your relationship circle is no more than a just tool to please one's lust and the urge to have fun independently without limit. It is not something that's more important than sharing your personal things with your partner, ALONE. Not with someone close, nor anyone.

It's 12.20pm and above are the only things that I managed to put up.