Sorry everyone.

July 14 2009. The day I killed on of the noblest creatures. Today would be a day that I remember for a long long time. Almost 21 years living myself on earth, I wouldn’t even dare to kill a bug. I admit that did kill a bug, but that was not on purpose. I could sit for some time thinking that I killed a teeny-weeny organism

Around 3.15pm, I was awakened by the sound of my mom shrieking. She was screaming, calling my name asking me to kill him. I was surprised when she asks me to do it. I wonder what she has against him. Until now, I’m still in vague! I frantically got up and grabbed a knife. He was in front of me, and my brother was holding him hardly so that he couldn’t put an attempt to run. I took some time before I eventually put the knife on him and cut him in the neck. There was no sound, just a small squeal which followed by him collapse and die.

I was so frightened of what has happened, and I ran away. I prayed that God will forgive me. I swear I prayed in that very moment, and it goes like “God, I really don’t want to do this. But what can I do, should I obey to my mom and ignore you? Or disobey her and follow the Law of Mother Nature”.

For a while, I was shivering thinking what I’ve done, and what will happen soon. Suddenly I saw Grandpa, I shivered and I almost scream out to him as he actually cam there just minutes after the incident happens, and I knew he could stop everything!

I hugged my legs like a kid always does, I was afraid. Should I check myself in to the police station? Should I let myself be cuffed by them? What will they ask me? What will they do to me? Will I be prosecuted? I guess the nightmare of being bullied by those people in the prison will come to life, finally. Mom says “Calm down son, just give it a rest already”. But I just can’t!

I remember the program I watched on TV where people who murdered another being, will be hanged to death. In that case, I will prepare myself to leave my family, friends, but what I will most is my computer and two cell phones. I am so stressed out right now remembering the blood that came out from his neck.

Now, I am waiting for the real deal to come. To wait for my dad to come home and sit altogether with my family and surrounding the table, waiting for him to discuss the next step I should do. My brother left the house like nothing had happened, mom is cooking and Grandpa went home. I lie down on the sofa watching TV, at least that can ease myself down. I don’t want to think about where they put the body. However, I can’t get everything out of my mind now, I really can’t! How should I do that to a being lives in the same world as me. We walk with them, I saw them every single day and they live just in my backyard.

For years, I did not know that I would have the guts to actually do something like this; it goes against the Law of Mother Nature. And like before, I just couldn’t get the picture off of my mind.

Then again, when I gave it a second thought, everyone doesn’t give a sh*t if they do the same thing. I think I should do too. Starting from now on, I will try to live a brand new life. I will face everything that I am supposed to, for what I’ve done. I will face everything that I should. I hope this is not my last time to post something here. I will try my best to keep on letting everyone tracks on my activity in my prison life.

P/S: I want to apologize to his family

Sincerely,

Indra

(The guy who killed the chicken)